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[Dragonite]

Good question, I feel like a PM would be most appropriate, to keep the thread on topic and to make sure people can post their stuff in this thread without it getting confusing with all the reviews for different people.
Does that make any sense? I am having trouble typing what I mean ATM my brain is fried.

[127]

Originally Posted by Dragonite

Good question, I feel like a PM would be most appropriate, to keep the thread on topic and to make sure people can post their stuff in this thread without it getting confusing with all the reviews for different people.
Does that make any sense? I am having trouble typing what I mean ATM my brain is fried.

I completely agree for the reason you stated plus I fear that critiques will all of a sudden turn into debates and possibly flaming.
I'll attach what I've got and send via PM.

[Dragonite]

Precisely, thank you very much for the critique by the way :)

[Dragonite]

My 2nd Short Story

Short Stories Collection: Story 2 | Stories By Jack McCambridge

[Dragonite]

Feel free to critique as roughly as possible :)

[Walnuts]

They dont speak Arabic in Afghanistan.

[Dragonite]

while it is not their primary language it is spoken in afghanistan. Also their official languages are both created from arabic.

[Walnuts]

No. Pashto and Dari (The two main and official languages of Afghanistan) are Indo-European in origin (derived from Persian), Arabic is a Semitic language and not related. You might hear Arabic in mosques, as it is the language the Quran is written in, but it certainly wouldnt be filling the air in a town or be spoken/understood by children.

[Dragonite]

"Both Pashto and Dari are written primarily with the Arabic alphabet, however, there are some modifications. "

That being said, I do need to edit the story and change the language. However more than 25 languages are spoken in Afghanistan and bilingualism is common. One of those languages is Arabic and technically if an American soldier was trained in Arabic not Dari or Pashto they could still communicate with many of the locals. At least thats what my cousin said, he's served multiple tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. That being said he also told me that I should change it to Dari which is the most popular language in Afghanistan. (50% or so speak it)

[Walnuts]

Being written using the alphabet /= related. Portugese is written using the english alphabet yet Im fairly sure your average english speaker isn't going to understand Portugese, and they have minimal relation as languages.